I am probably the worst patient in the world. Actually, on second thought.....I just might be the best!! I don't want to call the Dr., but probably should! I'm thinking maybe he ought to thank me that I haven't bugged him for every little thing! Since I'm not bugging him, I thought I'd better document the latest in case he needs to know when I go in to see him in July.
After I hiked Ensign Peak, I was very numb. I went home wondering if I really should have done it. It was so good for my spirits though, that I didn't really care. However, the next morning I woke up feeling better than I had in a couple weeks since all the numbness came back. We went on our family trip to see my Brother and his Fam in Oregon. I did pretty well there. Even walked quite a ways on the beach without too much problem. Had to walk arm-in-arm with my Bro. coming back from one of the waterfalls, but all in all.....I felt pretty good while we were gone.
It all started the morning after we got home. I tried to wake up and help the kids get off to school, but as soon as I rolled over, I was so dizzy. I couldn't do anything but lay there as still as I possibly could. With just me and my thoughts, I started to worry. "Does this mean it has made it to my brain?" Who knows. I second guess every little thing now. It may just be that I went on a busy weekend trip and drove forever the night before eating a lot of junk. I was dizzy most of the morning. I had to lay on the couch after getting myself downstairs to help feed Julia. The dizziness went away by mid-afternoon and all was well again. Til last night.
I went to bed feeling like my legs were on fire. It was the craziest sensation I have felt, aside from the numbness. I kept rubbing my thighs and knees, thinking that would help. Just made it worse. So, I curled up in a ball and went to bed.
This is such a strange, strange thing.....from one minute to the next. I pray this is all just part of these 3 lesions......not a whole bunch of new ones. Dr. H.....see you in July!
Who would have thought a little danger lingers there? The newest discovery in this whole process is a crazy one! I love, love, love wrapping up under my covers. I could stay wrapped up all night. However, over the last week or so, I have noticed that my legs become really numb half way through the night. I have wondered if it was the way I was laying or something. Since the beginning of this whole ordeal, in the back of my mind when Dr.'s or people would talk about the effects of heat with MS, I have to admit, I would secretly roll my eyes and think they were a titch off, mentally! :) I didn't understand or fully comprehend how much heat can cause problems. But the last couple of nights, as I would feel my legs get worse, I noticed if I pulled some of the covers off and laid outside of the sheets, my legs would change and become less numb. I guess in the long run, I was the one off, mentally!!! They were right. Heat really does make the situation worse. I have noticed in the shower as well, if the water is too warm, my feet can barely feel the floor of the shower by the time I am finished! Another love that might have to take a back seat......a hot bath or shower! No worries.....I'll still do the daily cleaning......just on the cooler side! :) So much for the 4th of July Parade in my sweater! (Don't believe me? Call my Sis.-in-law Ally.....it's her favorite story to tell!)
Sometimes I feel like posting on this blog makes me sound like such a whiner! But....today, I don't care! Today, right now....this very moment....I HATE this disease. Today, it took something from me, and for that, I am angry. As I type, my sweet Young Women and all my dedicated leaders are on a bus, headed for the plains of Wyoming without me. I stood there, with a mind and heart physically able and ready to make the Trek, but a body (and a Dr.), denying me the opportunity. It is absolutely killing me to miss out on this. I hugged each of them as they loaded the bus, and couldn't keep the tears from coming. I cried the whole way home! Heck, I'm still wiping my cheeks. I know my life could be worse. I know that. But for today, and right now.....it is not so easy. Trek on my sweet girls! I'm there with you in Spirit, every step of the way!
I am probably the worst patient in the world. Actually, on second thought.....I just might be the best!! I don't want to call the Dr., but probably should! I'm thinking maybe he ought to thank me that I haven't bugged him for every little thing! Since I'm not bugging him, I thought I'd better document the latest in case he needs to know when I go in to see him in July.
