Full Circle

Just when I felt like things were getting better, the numbness attacked again to remind me that those lesions are still there, waiting in the wings. This whole thing is just bizarre to me. I really was about 96% healed. I felt really good. I'm sure that's the reason I'm where I am today. Because I felt good, I cleaned my kitchen out. I went all over this weekend for Mother's Day. I cut out bags for the Pioneer Trek. That's where the frustration lies. I didn't do that much, but yet, somehow I have over-done it and am now numb again from the chest down. It was hard to sleep last night. My legs ache. They feel tight. Last night I couldn't keep my spirits up. I was sad. My sweet hubby took over and made dinner, cleaned up the house, and helped get the kids ready for bed - letting me just lay on the couch. I felt sorry for myself. I hate that feeling! Three days ago, I said I wouldn't let this win, and last night I felt like I opened the door and let it take over! Tons of fear crept in - does this mean it REALLY is MS? Not sure. Do I call the Doc.? Not sure. I'm afraid of what he'll say. There's not much he can do to help me anyway - it is what it is. Boy, this is a downer post. But, it is also the reason I set this up - to document each step of this journey. None-the-less, I got up and showered, took the boys to school and now I'm going to do my hair and head to the Dentist. Life goes on - numb or not!