Talk About a Miracle.....

This last week in church, our Sacrament Meeting talks were all centered around Miracles. Each speaker shared times in their lives when they had experienced a miracle of some form or another. I have thought about that the last few days.

Ya know how we all have those little quirks that we do, that no one would know we do? For example, I fold my ears in when they are cold, til they warm up. I have the perfect way I do it too. My husband has tried folding them in and can NEVER do it right, the bottom half of my ear always pops out when he does it. I have done this ever since I was little, and I'm assuming this weird quirk/habit started because I had tubes 3 times and always had ear pain. Can't believe I just shared that.....but I did, and I have a point.....I promise this is going somewhere!

As I was sitting here, perusing the internet, I realized, while doing another little one of my quirks.......that the numbness I have had for SO long, is completely gone!! When the heels of my feet are cold, (I must have a thing with making sure every ounce of my body stays warm....I'm seeing a pattern here!), I put that heel in between each of my toes on my other foot, til it warms up. Almost from the very first symptoms of numbness, I have been numb on both feet between my Big toe and my second. So, basically a full year now, I have had numbness between my toes. I assumed that was the permanent damage remaining from the first few lesions that attacked my spinal cord, and never expected to get that feeling back again.

How are my quirks proving to be little miracles in my life? I was told by my Neurologist that pregnancy is like the miracle drug for MS. He said that many MS patients feel the best they have ever felt while expecting. Don't get me wrong, I have been super sick, but I have realized just how good I feel MS wise lately and am so amazed!

What a miracle it is, that as Mother's we sacrifice our bodies, so to speak, to carry these special little beings. But for me now, it is not a sacrifice. What once was considered a huge, dangerous beast wreaking havoc on my body and left me questioning each day I woke up....."What will shut down, or go numb today?" is no match compared to the miracle growing inside me. My little one has not only brought major happiness to a family who has so longed to have another baby after a couple of losses, but it is my little cure. How incredible is that? I can't wait til our baby is here to hold, love, kiss, smother and to thank profusely for helping me to feel so good, and to help my body heal from the damage that has been done.

The only difference between being pregnant with and without MS for me so far has been the tired factor. I was always super tired during the first few months with my previous babies, but this time around......if given the chance, I could sleep all day. Everything I have read and stories I have watched of other MS patients told me to expect that. I just didn't think I would crave sleep as much as I have craved food! I also have some issues with realizing when I need to use the restroom. Rather than having a feeling, I just get pressure. (Aren't you glad I shared?I have promised to be open and honest in hopes of helping someone else going through this!)

I hear there is a higher chance of having a relapse after delivery, so I am preparing myself for the worst, that way I can be pleasantly surprised if that is not the case when this is all over. I haven't made it any secret that my first Neuro. told me to stop having a family and to start taking the MS meds. But, for anyone questioning having a baby after an MS diagnosis, I would give the same advice Dr. H, my Neurologist now, gave me. Don't let MS rule your life. Live your dreams, and if having a baby is part of those dreams......go for it!! I'm so glad I listened to that advice, because it gave me hope that life can be and IS still great, and can be all you ever hoped for, regardless if you have MS or not. It really has been so good for me so far, and I'm so happy we listened to him, our hearts and the Lord and moved forward with our dream of having another child.

Utah Chapter - National MS Awareness Week

This week is National MS Awareness week. I opened my Facebook account last week to find a message from the National MS Facebook site asking me to find a way during the week to bring MS awareness to the attention of others. "Perfect", I thought. "That's why I have my little blog." So, here I am promoting awareness for MS. I read through the online booklet they sent me that was loaded with new research and activities that will be taking place all week throughout the Salt Lake area. I was excited to see they mentioned and gave credit to the awesome Scout who held the MS fair to inform kids about MS that I took my own children to. He definitely deserved credit and praise for that. I might even make my kids copy him in some form or another for their Eagle Projects. At the bottom of the article, it asked for each person with MS to share their story and then it had a little MS=, where they want MS patients to share what MS='s to them. I've thought about it and a whole lot of words = MS to me. Some are not so nice, others are! Ha Ha! But really, I've thought about that and I'm not sure what it ='s for me. Fear, anxiety, frustration, loss of ability and feeling, testing, Dr. Appointments, embarrassment at times, etc. But it also ='s testimony builder, greater compassion for others, strength I didn't know I had, knowledge, friendships renewed, new friendships formed, closer family relations, many acts of service rendered in my behalf, gratitude for good health......etc.

The other night I was at the Temple and saw a younger woman walking with the assistance of a walker. Her husband was right close behind helping carry her things. I found myself feeling so much love for this woman. I almost mustered up enough courage to tell her husband I would help her through the women's locker room. Just as I started toward her, another person stepped in and helped her the rest of the way. I thought about her all night. Did she have MS? Everything about the way she appeared told me she did. I don't have any idea if that's true, obviously, but I wanted to reach out to her and wished I hadn't waited so long. I think that's probably the greatest thing I have learned throughout this whole ordeal. I have such a greater love and compassion for those who are physically disabled. I recognize how wonderful it is to have a healthy body. I took that for granted before.

There is so much going on in the world of MS studies for a cure. I read the other day they are looking into bone marrow now, thinking that each person's bone marrow may carry things that could possibly be used to help fight MS. There is research going on that is finding ways to keep people from developing MS in the first place. Medicine is far better than it was in helping patients even just 12 years ago when I was working with MS patients. I only pray that a cure will be found within the next few years to help my young friends and I live mostly normal lives. I'm grateful to those taking the time to find a cure and to those who donate to the cause.

I was hoping to set up a team for the MS walk, but seeing as I am expecting and have MS, I am doubly tired and just want to hibernate. I will be all over that next year though, so watch out!I'm just rambling on now. But wanted to do my part in posting for the National MS Awareness Week. Here's to all my friends who suffer from this disease and to all those throughout the world who are part of this MS family. Thank you for your examples to me of courage, strength and Faith. May we all one day, live in a world free of MS!!!!!